A collar is a major sign of a slave being owned. It's like a wedding ring in essence.
I am afraid that isn't true. Many subs like to wear a collar to show their role, not necessarily their servitude to someone, I actually know of one guy, who, as a 17 year old loved wearing a 2" wide leather collar at all times and he hadn't had a master. There is no doubt some "old guard" try to imply that a collar is a sign of ownership. Just my opinion, but I think if someone has a chain collar secured with a padlock it is more probable that someone else owns the key but it still isn't a clear indication of ownership. Nor should anyone suggest or dictate that a collar is a major sign of anything other than the person wearing it, enjoys wearing collars.
It is not rude to ask someone if they are someone else's slave before you attempt flirting. But it is rude to attempt to speak to someone when they are clearly in conversation with someone else regardless of it being a kink or non-kink event. Just as I think guys who insist you shouldn't speak to their slave when they are left alone are rude unless the slave is wearing a label stating his status.
You often find that its older members of the community who consider themselves "old guard" who are more put out by the bright young things on the scene.
Actually, I have found that it's "old guard" who are more likely to stipulate rules and etiquette because it makes them look a lot more knowledgeable about the scene, therefore making them more important. As a general rule, I've also found a lot of "old guard" have very little experience. They've gleaned their knowledge through reading books designed for 'one-handed reading' like The Leathermans Journal and the Leatherman's Handbook which I suspect has made fortunes for their authors.
When I first started my club Deviant, (in January 2001) It was a general consensus that you couldn't be in the BDSM club scene without wearing either Leather or Rubber uniform. I believe Deviant was the first fetish club in the country not to dictate a dress code. Some of the "old guard" guys who attended dressed in their 'kit' complained about the lads who weren't dressed appropriately. But those same guys would happily have sex in the dark rooms with the guys they were complaining about!
GOOD MANNERS IS IMPORTANT, etiquette is a complete farce when it is attached to the BDSM scene. Two (or more) people should be able to decide how their relationship works without the interference of others dictating their rules and how they behave on the scene.
